Posted by: thedownsideofup | January 24, 2008

The Down Side of Up……

who.jpgI live in Florida. I am a Wife, a Mother and a Grand Mother to one very special little Girl, Bella . I have another Blog that is Successful, Sugar Queen’s Dream
This is a place where I can write the not so up side of things that happen in my life …

This is the beginning of “The Down Side Of Up“……..
The truth is, I grew up in a broken home, My Father beat my Mother so bad that she almost died. She left him, but not until she had 3 more Children with him. I grew up with a Step Father, my Mother married him when I was 7. We didn’t know much about him, My Mother knew him for 7 days when she married him!
My Mom was 25, She had 5 Children from 2 Men already, She was to have 2 more with this man, (I think that qualifies her as a baby maker) LOL. My Step Father was a good person in many ways, He never let us go hungry. He never let us go without clothing. He always provided us with a home to live in, BUT, There were terrible things happening in our home…. For one thing, he was an alcoholic and went on drinking binges that lead to him beating my Mother. I can remember when I was 12, Standing at the foot of the stairs, Him being very, very drunk and having a shotgun aimed at my Mother’s head, there was a 5 day old infant in a crib just behind her laying in a crib, My Sister Patty. She came home from the hospital on my Birthday, I’ll always think of her as mine, they told me she was my gift.
Anyways, He aimed at my Mothers head and he pulled the trigger….
By the grace of God the gun was jammed and it didn’t go off! But I’m telling you this, My Mom didn’t leave him, she stayed and endured many more beatings and much more abuse. He was a sick and twisted person. He started molesting me at age 7, just a few months after we moved to his farm in Georgia, he told me he would kill my Mother if I said a word so it was then I learned to keep secrets and to hide how sad I was……
I lived a hellish life as a child and as a young woman. I got married at age 17. I did it to get away from him but I didn’t know what I was walking into when I married, my new Husband was abusive also, It’s true when they say you follow a pattern….
SO when I smile and I laugh, I do this for reasons you, my readers, don’t understand. I do this Because in some way I am defeating the men who took something from me, They took things that were not theirs to take. I don’t understand how people can abuse others and think they are OK. I guess I will never understand that. But I smile and I laugh because I have finally figured out that if you let someone have your happiness, They spread it. If you let them control you, they own your soul and I will never let anyone no matter alive or dead own my soul….

I can’t say as I understand why people abuse others, I just wish we could figure out a way to stop them….

So everyone if you happen to stumble in here I will be back and I hope you don’t get to upset at The Down Side Of Up or me…..

Peace!

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Responses

  1. Oh judy I cried as I read this. I am so very,very sorry that you too had such a rough go of it growing as well.

    Trust me I know the hurt and anguish oh so well from my own life. But, you already know all of that.

    Thank you for sharing and opening up. It truly takes a brave person to do so. And, you will help so many, many others.

    Love to you my dear friend,
    Jackie

  2. It’s OK Jackie, I have grown used to dealing with my past. I now look at today and I forgive yesterday, I don’t worry about tomorrow… it’s not here yet!
    Hugs, Judy

  3. Thanks for your comment on my blog, and thank YOU for being so candid about what you grew up with. It feels good to finally let go and open up sometimes, doesn’t it?

    I’ll keep checking back. *hug*

  4. Heather, Thank you for the visit. I do feel good about this blog although it’s still a baby…
    hugs, Judy

  5. just in case here and not over to the other blog. Well I am chasing you..LOL!!!

    http://shinade.blogspot.com/2008/01/national-mentoring-month-usa.html

    ~Jackie

  6. Way to go Judy–I’m sorry you had to survive what you did. I’m also glad you survived and moved on with your life.

    Thanks for sharing this with others to know they aren’t alone!!

    We love you, Judy, both the sugar and the lumps make you beautiful!

  7. Cowgirl Betty, Thank you so much for stopping by my other home… It means a heck of a lot to me that you took the time….
    Just as it means a lot to me that others did the same….
    Hugs and have the BEST of days, Everyone….

  8. Hugs for you Judy. You are a beautiful soul!

  9. Thank You Fracas…. I never dreamed in a million years I would be loved by people I have never even met, but somehow it’s true…..
    Love, J


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